1. First of all, “Why didn’t you just become a doctor? You’re too smart to be a nurse” is a rude thing to say.
2. And no, people can’t just apply for nursing licenses before being educated and rigorously trained.
3. Because nursing is not about wiping butts all day.
4. And nurses are not just there for their ability to “nurture” and “mother” patients; they’re there to use science and critical thinking to save lives.
5. Which is why it’s annoying when people think you’re always just following a doctor’s orders.
6. But you’d never know that from TV and movies, which almost never portray nurses accurately.
7. The reality is that doctors rely heavily on the knowledge and observations of nurses to make decisions about patient care.
8. And it is often the nurses who make life and death decisions.
9. Nurses are actually more like a doctor-social worker-respiratory therapist-pharmacist-phlebotomist-physiotherapist-receptionist-X-ray technician-transporter-housekeeper-caregiver hybrid.
10. Which is probably why they’re not actually wearing sexy nurse outfits over lingerie with stilettos on their feet.
11. That might also be because a huge number of nurses are men.
12. Who, by the way, are not all gay.
So now that all that’s cleared up, there are a few more things that nurses don’t want or need to hear.
13. When nurses are “just taking blood pressure” they are simultaneously assessing a dozen things about a patient’s condition.
14. It doesn’t help anyone to say that all nurses do is put on Band-Aids when they’re actually catching potentially fatal mistakes made by doctors who don’t know the patient as well.
15. And when people assume a home health care nurse is there to give sponge baths and clean the house, it makes it harder for them to provide care.
16. Saying nurses are so lucky to work three days a week ignores how much recovery time and rest is needed after long shifts and demanding work.
17. Patients with the “I write your check” mentality that feel justified using nurses as servants make it harder for nurses to do their jobs.
18. That job is not being a personal drug dealer who is totally OK with going to jail just so a patient can get some OxyContin.
19. So if you come in and say you’re allergic to every drug except Dilaudid and that you needs lots and lotsof Dilaudid, the nurse is onto you, buddy.
20. And when a nurse clearly knows the answer to your question and you say, “Can you ask the doctor?” you’re undermining their expertise and their profession.
21. But the great thing about nurses is that they don’tactually care all that much about all these misconceptions.
22. Because the thing they care more about than anything is saving your life.
23. But for those of us who are annoyed on their behalves, we are just going to leave this here.
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