Let’s face it, teaching is tough! If you are a teacher, you know that sometimes you say things in the classroom that you never anticipated saying. From “Ignore the dead scorpion on the floor” to “Don’t put the owl pellet near your mouth,” teachers say some unusual things. We asked Really Good Teachers from across the country to tell us what has been the most unusual thing they have said in the classroom and here are some of their candid and amusing responses.
1. “Do not disturb reading group unless you’re bleeding, you’re vomiting, or you’re on fire!” ~Terri O.
2. “Please don’t bring me presents from the toilet.” ~Jenn M.
3. “Stop eating your shoe.” ~Arlene Y.
4. “Go back and pick up your hair.” ~Kathie B.
5. “You did a great job putting on your belt. Now go back in the bathroom and turn your pants around.” ~Sara S.
6. “Quit stuffing mulch down your pants!” ~ Becky K.
7. “I don’t care that you are having fun, you are not allowed to poke people with pencils.” ~Kris W.
8. “We don’t pee on our friends.” ~Sara M.
9. “Put the fake boob on my desk and leave it alone.” ~Tracy B.
10. “Just because your finger fits in your nose doesn’t mean you should put it there.” ~Erin M.
11. “Please don’t put cards in your panties.” ~Cindy B.
12. “What are you doing? Why is their a baby mouse up your sleeve and where did you find him? Please stop feeding him your pop tart.” ~Leslie H.
13. “Why did you glue your sandwich to your desk?” ~Wendy B.
14. “This is not a beauty parlor. Quit playing with each other’s hair.” ~Suzette S.
15. “Unless there is someone teaching you how to read under that table, you need to come out and join us on the carpet.” ~Traci T.
16. “Stop licking your desk.” ~Elizabeth A.
17. “Stop kissing the elevator button and fire alarm.” ~Marci J.
18. “Please don’t staple the tape!” ~Amy M.
19. “Why are you rubbing a glue stick on your shoes?” ~Allison F.
20. “Whose hair is this?” ~Araceliy S.
21. “Are you eating your math paper?” ~Lori L.
22. “Keep your spit in your mouth.” ~Melissa C.
23. “I’m not sure if fish have testicles. Let’s look that up…” ~Rachel H.
24. “The donkeys are eating the butterfly garden!” ~April Z.
25. “First one to kill the cockroach gets a pencil!” ~Nichole D.
26. “How did you pull your tooth out with your shoe lace while tying your shoe?” ~Heather K.
27. “What do you mean, this ball bearing came out of your digestive tract yesterday?!?!?” ~Carrie H.
28. “There’s a snake in my pocket chart!” ~Suzanne L.
29. “Don’t lick the keyboard.” ~Megan E.
30. “Stop playing with your face…it’s not a toy.” ~Beth T.
31. “Put your hands in your lap, not in your nose.” ~Heidi B.
32. “Get that dolly out of the stove.” ~DeAnna S.
33. “Please put your pants back on.” ~Shelly L.
34. “The mouse is more afraid of you than you are if him.” ~Tammie F.
35. “No, that is NOT a dead animal, that is ‘so-and-so’s’ hairpiece.” ~Kimberly S.
36. “Smearing food on your neighbor is not the way to show someone you want to be friends.” ~Jodi K.
37. “Did you really put glue your eyelids?” ~Teresa M.
38. “Whoever is making rude body noises: please stop.” ~Michele S.
39. While teaching a lesson on pairs…“Yes, Robert, you’re right, they usually come in “two’s” but let’s call them breasts.” ~Dot L.
40. “We are in 5th grade not prison and no one will be ‘shanking’ anyone.” ~Nikki N.
41. “I’m not a dog. Please don’t pet me.” ~Sarah D.
42. “We don’t store Playdoh in our pants.” ~Adrienne M.
43. “Ignore the dead bat in the corner!” ~Naomi M.
44. “Don’t bite your friends. They are not food.” ~Susan T.
45. “How did you staple your finger?!” ~Kelly C.
46. “This is not a barber shop. Put the scissors away.” ~Kimberly P.
47. “Quickly, someone tell Mrs. Welch what she was thinking.” ~Mrs. Welch
48. “This is not Star Wars…please stop pretending your fingers are ships.” ~Beth T.
49. “Please don’t lick the wall – it isn’t nice.” ~Carrie H.
50. “Everyone move to the other side of the room while I catch the snake with this trash can.” ~Kellie S.
What have you said that you never anticipated saying?
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